oakeidoakei

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oakeidoakei

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3973
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About oakeidoakei : Word. Yo.

oakeidoakei's page activity

Visits<b>kyle8211</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:47am<b>foreverjordan</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 11:55pm<b>ethangoins</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 10:35pm<b>Marceline_17</b> - the 07/20/2012 at 11:03am<b>alaskankid907</b> - the 11/17/2011 at 2:30am<b>Magic1</b> - the 10/16/2011 at 6:49pm<b>Deloxic</b> - the 10/15/2011 at 8:03pm<b>littlesunshine</b> - the 10/11/2011 at 2:05pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 10:28pm<b>BballHottie34</b> - the 09/24/2011 at 11:58am<b>Killerturtle</b> - the 09/19/2011 at 9:20am<b>WtfLoser</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 9:16pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 8:45am<b>FrecklesXO</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 10:42pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 9:09pm<b>fighterboy11</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 8:58pm<b>fakeaccountX</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 7:02pm<b>unicornofthesea</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 11:24am

oakeidoakei's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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oakeidoakei's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

by anonymous / 07/28/2011 at 1:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

by mathii / 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm / Love

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

by Rejected / 07/16/2011 at 9:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

by Username / 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States / Health

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML

by OnlyMee / 07/09/2011 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Love

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

by UhOh / 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek