About oakeidoakei : Word. Yo.
oakeidoakei's FML badges
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
oakeidoakei's favorite FMLs
by Eli / 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by redeye / 09/19/2011 at 1:03am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/17/2011 at 4:17am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Love
Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML
by Mandy / 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by messed up / 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Awesome. / 09/14/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by unknown / 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML
by Twitchy / 09/14/2011 at 7:20pm / Bahamas (New Providence) / Animals
Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML
by pea / 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm / United States / Work
Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML
by charliemann_ / 09/12/2011 at 10:28am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
by psychicmother / 09/09/2011 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…