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oakeidoakei's FML badges
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
oakeidoakei's favorite FMLs
by devinchi / 11/11/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Health
Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML
by Nicoli / 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
by copshop / 11/10/2011 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by LukeyBoy / 11/09/2011 at 5:57am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML
by roadkill0321 / 11/07/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Love
by shamed / 11/05/2011 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by mcadabax / 11/05/2011 at 7:06am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by me / 11/04/2011 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML
by Noname / 10/29/2011 at 7:02am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/29/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 1:07pm / United States / Work
- Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all… Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in… Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over…
- Today, I was minding my own business, when I decided to read in the living room. My father began to… Today, I went into a public locker room at a pool to change. A camp full of young girls came into… Today, I was running late to work and noticed that my car keys weren't in the right spot. I quickly…