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oOisabellaOo's favorite FMLs
by limegreengiraffe / 11/01/2014 at 10:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2014 at 1:47am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML
by anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by wow / 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML
by DiiiDiiine / 10/27/2014 at 10:22am / France (Limousin) / Health
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
by socreepedouticanteven / 10/26/2014 at 8:05pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
by Bob H. / 10/26/2014 at 9:54am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML
by HeckIfIKnow / 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Geek
by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML
by Anonymos_fmler / 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML
by Deadpool434 / 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by forgotten / 10/19/2014 at 2:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…