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o5orn1o's favorite FMLs
by JRLJLS / 04/15/2013 at 5:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by lonely / 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm / United States / Love
Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML
by jasminejzhu / 04/14/2013 at 5:58am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML
by InDisbelief / 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
by Me / 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML
by pot, meet kettle / 04/05/2013 at 7:21pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Love
by Ribbed for Her Disaster / 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by nobodylovesme / 04/04/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML
by letdown13 / 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 9:32am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML
by kenabrookee / 04/03/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 2:14pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love
by ItsAnanya / 04/02/2013 at 11:34am / India (Delhi) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my… Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told… Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious.…