Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

o5orn1o

Search for a member

o5orn1o

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 201
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

o5orn1o's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of o5orn1o's badges

o5orn1o's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

#20611911
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40031) - you deserved it (13938)

On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38152) - you deserved it (2989)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

#20611227
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55334) - you deserved it (3696)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53687) - you deserved it (3922)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

#20609608
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77572) - you deserved it (7057)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

#20608416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54738) - you deserved it (7020)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm - love - by Thanks Babe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

#20608351
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49408) - you deserved it (4432)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49319) - you deserved it (6443)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

#20607010
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55691) - you deserved it (6801)

On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

#20605834
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47704) - you deserved it (5529)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54758) - you deserved it (6850)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

#20604222
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48218) - you deserved it (21228)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47995) - you deserved it (9411)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML

#20603007
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51450) - you deserved it (5956)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

#20602951
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40269) - you deserved it (6635)

On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: