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o5orn1o's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
by Magicali / 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML
by Ellwood / 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Love
by gamerguru13 / 04/21/2013 at 8:26am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
by loving wife / 04/21/2013 at 6:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML
by Thanks Babe / 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids
by How strange / 04/20/2013 at 8:02am / United States / Love
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Kids
by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids
by Wallz99 / 04/19/2013 at 2:00am / Pakistan (Azad Kashmir) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 1:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
by RaveCharlie / 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…