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o5orn1o's favorite FMLs
Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML
by neighbour hell / 04/25/2013 at 1:56pm / Norway (Vest-Agder) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
by goingtobeevicted / 04/25/2013 at 2:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML
by kkt / 04/25/2013 at 12:54am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
by pregz / 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by public pooper / 04/24/2013 at 8:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Love
by awkward O_o / 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 11:20am / United States / Miscellaneous
by BIGCHEIFAAA / 04/24/2013 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML
by BestBF / 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by traitor / 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
- Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem,… Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him,… Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with…