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o5orn1o's favorite FMLs
Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML
by Wow. Really? / 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Good Luck Chuck / 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by unforgettablee / 04/29/2013 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
by bad day Brutus / 04/29/2013 at 1:26am / United States / Love
by shameless / 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML
by gibbette / 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Love
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 12:35pm / Denmark / Love
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML
by Shitty genes, no two ways about it. / 04/26/2013 at 8:21pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
by LibraryPedo / 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
- Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on…