nzl

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nzl

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2063
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About nzl : kiwi. gossip. uni student.

nzl's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 11:43pm<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 7:06am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 9:00am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:51pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:10pm<b>hue</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:52am<b>KittyBunny</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:11pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:17pm<b>Daltonnance</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:10pm<b>MacItUp</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:22pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 3:10am<b>Jonny_Blaze0017</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 9:46am<b>Tiger171</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 9:08pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:33pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:25am<b>lacubanajuana</b> - the 01/02/2011 at 3:59pm<b>blackninja747</b> - the 08/11/2010 at 10:54pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:38pm

nzl's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nzl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

by Busted / 07/26/2010 at 8:26am / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

by pissfaced / 01/02/2010 at 8:41am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

by CheLi / 12/08/2009 at 12:09am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I submitted an entry for a logo design contest for my employer. Apparently, it is possible to lose a contest even when you had the only entry. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2009 at 3:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

by PiaNO / 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

by TrueScotsman / 10/29/2009 at 10:31am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of seven years dumped me because he said my cheeks getting way too fat for his taste and he didn't want to be with a chipmunk. FML

by chipmunk / 10/29/2009 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Love

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

by abdominates / 10/23/2009 at 12:48pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

by E.S. / 10/23/2009 at 1:01am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2009 at 6:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous