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Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 9:03pm)



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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nyranger35's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

by almost governmental / 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Work

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

by angry girlfriend / 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

by sirphilmckraken / 08/08/2014 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

by familyhatesme / 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML

by Baskets-Tailleur / 07/07/2014 at 2:58am / France / Love

Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML

by a fat fucking shit and proud of it / 06/28/2014 at 3:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Work

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML

by Boulette / 06/23/2014 at 1:44am / Love

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

by imalosertho / 06/10/2014 at 9:01pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals