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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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nutsackmuscle

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nutsackmuscle
  • Town/Country : Sucks balls, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 August 1984 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 336
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About nutsackmuscle : Attention: testicles. That is all. Message me I love good conversation. :)

nutsackmuscle's last visitors

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nutsackmuscle's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

#15974313 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (11016) - you deserved it (25505)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (32030) - you deserved it (2922)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (25742) - you deserved it (17815)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (38696) - you deserved it (4462)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

#15651710 (310)

I agree, your life sucks (38860) - you deserved it (3660)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm - love - by PMSL (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

#15647820 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (8532) - you deserved it (28458)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:47am - misc - by stairmaster -

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

#15637668 (305)

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (15378)

On 04/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by lynn777 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (36668) - you deserved it (5573)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (2951)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML

#15306672 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (28266) - you deserved it (7319)

On 03/14/2011 at 10:44am - misc - by alex - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176 (296)

I agree, your life sucks (9960) - you deserved it (51129)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML

#15069321 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (19222) - you deserved it (2412)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:21pm - money - by MBC - United States

Today, I finally taught my mom how to text message people. Now I get a message from her every 30 seconds saying "Hi". FML

#15066931 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (19324) - you deserved it (11559)

On 02/21/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by moweezy9 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (9826) - you deserved it (34591)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)



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