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nuggetmonster

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nuggetmonster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1392
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nuggetmonster : Voicin my opinions. Problem?

nuggetmonster's page activity

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nuggetmonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35739) - you deserved it (20895)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

#13125278
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (3315)

On 09/20/2010 at 5:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51833) - you deserved it (7833)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41701) - you deserved it (12557)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (16671)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (49103)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28447) - you deserved it (23681)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45911) - you deserved it (13630)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

#10433872
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36603) - you deserved it (9478)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24251) - you deserved it (7557)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

#8250331
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8529) - you deserved it (32891)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37830) - you deserved it (3362)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML

#7937291
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21736) - you deserved it (3735)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by annony-moose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25061) - you deserved it (12879)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

#7160952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27596) - you deserved it (4768)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)



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