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nuggetmonster

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nuggetmonster
  • Town/Country : Texas, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 September 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1084
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nuggetmonster : Voicin my opinions. Problem?

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nuggetmonster's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate told me that unscented deodorant prevents ingrown hairs on the bikini line. She shared this beauty tip with me when I caught her using my Lady Speed Stick on her snatch. FML

#17497875
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (1824)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:14am - intimacy - by AllieOops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26852) - you deserved it (4577)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (5338)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66635) - you deserved it (6939)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8430) - you deserved it (41645)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (28317)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (28317)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38795) - you deserved it (8141)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

#14820910
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26663) - you deserved it (5598)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

#14682600
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (6790)

On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

#14682600
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (6790)

On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13671) - you deserved it (37407)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML

#13570264
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33389) - you deserved it (3433)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version



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