nuggetmonster

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nuggetmonster

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2358
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nuggetmonster : Voicin my opinions. Problem?

nuggetmonster's page activity

Visits<b>JadeOmega</b> - yesterday at 12:26pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:07pm<b>smileyave</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:26pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 6:47am<b>justolyvia</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 5:47pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:10pm<b>jenn_0422</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:49pm<b>Brumbler</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:58am<b>kawaii666</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:52am<b>ShadowPhantom7</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:19am<b>drdeathnacho</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:22pm<b>PHP</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 5:50pm<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 11:27pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 2:28am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 7:39pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 6:17pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 8:44pm

Fucked!<b>JadeOmega</b> - yesterday at 6:26pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:07am

nuggetmonster's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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nuggetmonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

by The Towel Molester / 01/26/2012 at 9:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

by harshdoobie / 01/18/2012 at 10:18am / Canada / Health

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

by eakthegeek / 01/10/2012 at 4:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML

by Snurkles McGree / 12/29/2011 at 1:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML

by insomnia / 12/22/2011 at 10:23am / United States / Work

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids