About nuggetmonster : Voicin my opinions. Problem?
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Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (5612)
On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (5612)
On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11192) - you deserved it (29215)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13461) - you deserved it (20779)
On 11/25/2010 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13461) - you deserved it (20779)
On 11/25/2010 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you deserved it (2846)
On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (16287)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24857) - you deserved it (2917)
On 09/20/2010 at 5:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35640) - you deserved it (9667)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (37561)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39436) - you deserved it (10327)
On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30964) - you deserved it (8785)
On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30140) - you deserved it (2506)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17468) - you deserved it (3279)
On 02/06/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by annony-moose - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19282) - you deserved it (9780)
On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Monday 17 June 2013
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