About nuggetmonster : Voicin my opinions. Problem?
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18301) - you deserved it (1975)
On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25670) - you deserved it (3778)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22843) - you deserved it (2062)
On 01/18/2012 at 10:18am - health - by harshdoobie (man) - Canada
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19522) - you deserved it (4574)
On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States
Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10550) - you deserved it (54344)
On 12/22/2011 at 10:23am - work - by insomnia (woman) - United States
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13576) - you deserved it (21486)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25381) - you deserved it (36765)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24160) - you deserved it (3650)
On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (5020)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62947) - you deserved it (5691)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15716) - you deserved it (21464)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (5607)
On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (5607)
On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11145) - you deserved it (29145)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13438) - you deserved it (20747)
On 11/25/2010 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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