About notsoluckypup : Pup. Chicago/Vegas girl at heart. In love with a guy named Eugene. I love a good laugh from FML. Feel free to drop a line :)
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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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notsoluckypup's favorite FMLs
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
by Come on / 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
by smith / 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm / United Kingdom (York) / Health
Today, I was looking through my boyfriend's Facebook photos, when I saw a recent comment by one of his friends asking how his night out with "Danielle" went. He replied: "Dude, keep that shit on the down-low." We've been dating for over a year. FML
by Cheating / 01/27/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by maryfaithh / 01/27/2012 at 11:30am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 4:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know..." and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
by shellski / 01/20/2012 at 8:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by toothpaste / 01/19/2012 at 7:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation
Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML
by meh / 01/18/2012 at 12:21am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
by Sheliton / 01/17/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…