About notsoluckypup : Pup. Chicago/Vegas girl at heart. In love with a guy named Eugene. I love a good laugh from FML. Feel free to drop a line :)
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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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notsoluckypup's favorite FMLs
Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML
by Stacy / 07/05/2011 at 12:04am / United States / Work
by Me / 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by NewTenant / 06/20/2011 at 3:37am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
by John jacob / 06/13/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML
by Punk / 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/04/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by brittaneejanex / 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm / United States / Animals
by ohcrap / 06/02/2011 at 6:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 06/01/2011 at 8:35am / Canada / Work
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
by iscreamforicecream / 06/01/2011 at 7:53am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
by diddlebuag / 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by fatteningmeup / 05/26/2011 at 10:24am / United States / Health
by OhDear / 05/24/2011 at 9:34pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
- Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything… Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a… Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When…