Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nothing92x

Offline (the 08/24/2015 at 8:16am) | Search for a member

nothing92x

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7200
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nothing92x's page activity

Visits<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:42pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:41pm<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 1:44pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:21pm<b>KayleyBaby37</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:17pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:55pm<b>BigL99</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:41pm<b>bab3ruthl3ss</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:36pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:39am<b>Ajwc95</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:36am<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:28am<b>Lacalema</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:38am<b>styles829</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:57pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:38pm<b>MalcolmRodrigues</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:13am<b>reburkah</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 7:36pm<b>drunk_crow</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:12pm

Fucked!<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:28am<b>gracehi</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:47am

nothing92x's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of nothing92x's badges

nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

#20896706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45019) - you deserved it (5929)

On 09/26/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by horriblefashionsense (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a 'young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans' crackpot. FML

#20896509
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34891) - you deserved it (7458)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:06am - love - by GodSquad (man) - United Kingdom (Blackburn with Darwen)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

#20896486
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36548) - you deserved it (4994)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44847) - you deserved it (3604)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

#20887524
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51358) - you deserved it (4989)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by monkey (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69122) - you deserved it (8120)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61988) - you deserved it (4081)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61605) - you deserved it (24129)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65704) - you deserved it (5298)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

#20694663
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45134) - you deserved it (3990)

On 05/30/2013 at 1:37am - love - by I'm a joke? -

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46222) - you deserved it (4056)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61486) - you deserved it (4168)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

#20687932
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54244) - you deserved it (3729)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

#20687700
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44839) - you deserved it (17569)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

#20687417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39127) - you deserved it (4090)

On 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm - health - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: