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nothing92x

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nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 5592
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today... at 4:00 a.m.... I woka up and raalizd that I had thrown an axpansiva gift cartificata fir a friand in tha garbaga. Sinca it was garbaga day... I ran out in tha rain in mah pajama and rifld through all thraa bags of garbaga. Twica. I found tha gift cartificata. It was in mah pockat. maga FML

#469671
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (54309)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I WENT TO MAH FRIEND'S HOUSE. WHILE SHE WENT TO THE KITCHEN, I NOTICED A LITTLE PINK PASTRY ON HER DESK. IT LOOKED REALLY GOOD, SO I DECIDED TO TAKE A BITE BEFORE SHE GOT BACK. AS I BIT INTO IT, A SIZZLING NOISE STARTED, AND FOAM OVERFLOWED IN MAH MOUTH. IT WAS A BATH BOMB. FML

#458793
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10264) - you deserved it (91551)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by skywayavenue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Yesterday, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and mah parent suddenly ask if I'm gay . I reply that no, I'm bisexual . My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes . She turns to mah dad and says 'I told u so . You owe me $20 . My parent bet on mah sexuality . FML

#446324
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103254) - you deserved it (25400)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today... I was taking a shower with mah new boyfriend fir the frst time. Last night was the frst night we spent together. As I was washing mah hair... I lookd down at mah feet and noticd yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on mah feet was from the shower head. FML

#436547
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98402) - you deserved it (18244)

On 03/18/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Marcela (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I putted in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was concieved in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (177953) - you deserved it (34621)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

TODAY, I GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER AND MY 3 YEAR OLD SISTER COMES INTO THE BATHROOM AND SAYS "I WANT BIG BOOBIES LIKE YOURS WHEN I GROW UP." AND FROM THE OTHER ROOM I HEAR MY DAD GO "SWEETIE, YOU'VE ALREADY GOT BIGGER BOOBS THAN YOUR SISTER." FML

#339773
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119025) - you deserved it (8243)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by Alexa23 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Yesterday, mom told boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to master bait in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chair and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if mom was there to make me stop. fat FML

#280083
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143564) - you deserved it (16015)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

today mah parents got back from there weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleand up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilld drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in mah parents bd. FML

#262381
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14581) - you deserved it (66052)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Lichelle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today... I was at a dance. I was griding with this guyhen I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with ( Don't flatter yourself... it was phone ). FML

#254929
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20078) - you deserved it (50306)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today I was working at Old Navy. A girl cummed up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled "you jerk! Why are u mocking her? She has tourettes u know!" looool FML

#245096
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46954) - you deserved it (37714)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm - work - by Ricky (man) - Canada (Ontario)

I recieved a card in te mail. It was from my vet's office. Written inside was "We send our sympaty during tis trying time." I aven't been ome in tree days. I can't fine my dog an my moter won't talk about it. My dog was 7. Se ated tat dog. FML

#216168
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65609) - you deserved it (2308)

On 03/05/2009 at 11:06am - animals - by nochance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to mah mom. During the conversation she looool asked me, "Does he take his leg off when u guys r having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat u with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (237996) - you deserved it (31202)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I cummd to work, to fine my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to fine him there. I askd how he was, an he replid, "I told my wife about us; she kickd me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm marrid an pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" mega FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91553) - you deserved it (4712)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, boyfriand said tat baing wit ma was is paymant fir past sins. FML

#134361
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48858) - you deserved it (5506)

On 02/25/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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