Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nothing92x

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

nothing92x

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6316
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nothing92x's page activity

Visits<b>MalcolmRodrigues</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:13am<b>reburkah</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 7:36pm<b>drunk_crow</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:12pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:45pm<b>etnoc</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:04pm<b>WaltzingPhantom</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:27am<b>kittyfrozen</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 7:27pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:19am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:02am<b>james98e</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:44am<b>sophzxc</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:25am<b>LPRZ17</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:39pm<b>KJxFTW</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:30am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:45am<b>MacItUp</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 3:55pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 2:58am<b>CamBen</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:04am

nothing92x's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of nothing92x's badges

nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68703) - you deserved it (40163)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

#3215431
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76009) - you deserved it (6530)

On 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Tom (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML

#3165947
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26832) - you deserved it (60412)

On 06/24/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by jerk (man) - United States (California)

Today, my car was impounded because I never registered it in California after moving here. In order to get it back, I need to register it. In order to register it, I need to pass a CA smog check. In order to pass the smog check, I need my car. FML

#3153262
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51983) - you deserved it (12895)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by nicklesg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my house to find several of my friends there for a surprise sweet sixteen party my mom was throwing for me. Everything was going great until the doorbell rang and a clown walked in. My mom hired a clown for my sweet sixteen. My friends took pictures. FML

#3120463
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43360) - you deserved it (5240)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by sweetsixteen (woman) - United States

Today, I helped my grandparents carry luggage to their hotel room, where they're staying the night tonight after my wedding reception. Their room is 203. Mine is 201. Their room shares a wall with my honeymoon suite. My grandparents are going to hear me consummate my marriage. FML

#3069493
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53136) - you deserved it (5587)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by groom (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51282) - you deserved it (17988)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

#2990755
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45556) - you deserved it (8200)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

#2933331
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50575) - you deserved it (4616)

On 06/16/2009 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went over to my boyfriends house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

#2881257
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11619) - you deserved it (56026)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:08am - intimacy - by ohdeardarling (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84048) - you deserved it (3979)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

#2839886
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63492) - you deserved it (4331)

On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141607) - you deserved it (10078)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71158) - you deserved it (3853)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: