Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nothing92x

Online | Search for a member

nothing92x

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4671
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nothing92x's page activity

Visits<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:02am<b>james98e</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:44am<b>sophzxc</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:25am<b>LPRZ17</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:39pm<b>KJxFTW</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:30am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:45am<b>MacItUp</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 3:55pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 2:58am<b>CamBen</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:04am<b>Ruler3000</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:51pm<b>IrishGirl12</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 9:22am<b>ghiman</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 6:58am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 11:59pm<b>Clumsyblonde22</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 9:32pm<b>Anner22</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 7:31pm<b>jedidesauden</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 1:20pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 4:51pm

nothing92x's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of nothing92x's badges

nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

#1017067
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73212) - you deserved it (32423)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:49am - intimacy - by nudesurprise (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML

#991895
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13861) - you deserved it (66615)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

#903514
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16229) - you deserved it (44923)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a symposium at which my colleague was a co-chair. She and a new acquaintance asked me how it was going. I joked that the discussant's only job at this conference was to be an asshole. The acquaintance was the symposium's discussant. The topic was Rude Behavior at Work. FML

#830404
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7126) - you deserved it (53481)

On 04/06/2009 at 2:14am - work - by singingseattlite (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (180502) - you deserved it (12259)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

#711978
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101589) - you deserved it (5283)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML

#681464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65950) - you deserved it (12627)

On 03/29/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14539) - you deserved it (181161)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and explaining to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

#669476
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53125) - you deserved it (7014)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandex while doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML

#644152
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75614) - you deserved it (4271)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by unitywoods (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

#640926
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95134) - you deserved it (6174)

On 03/27/2009 at 10:13am - intimacy - by tehhotness (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

#588112
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65062) - you deserved it (15435)

On 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by sarah_sad (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML

#544318
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96056) - you deserved it (8401)

On 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by tinytitty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27318) - you deserved it (59346)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: