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nothing92x

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nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 4449
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

#1547778
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (158644) - you deserved it (24012)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

#1525413
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72784) - you deserved it (24843)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11480) - you deserved it (102059)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, after driving a few hours late at night I decided to entertain the car tailgating me by not letting him pass. After doing this for 3miles, reaching 93MPH, I decided to let the car pass me. When I switched lanes, the car tailgating me light up in red and blue. It was a cop. FML

#1363713
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9935) - you deserved it (88193)

On 04/26/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said "hey I love your jacket, where'd you get that?". I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere". FML

#1288123
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18020) - you deserved it (57434)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by cole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59240) - you deserved it (5403)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59690) - you deserved it (6196)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

#1056544
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58173) - you deserved it (6647)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML

#1021552
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (118338)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

#1017067
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73181) - you deserved it (32405)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:49am - intimacy - by nudesurprise (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML

#991895
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13856) - you deserved it (66597)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

#903514
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16217) - you deserved it (44910)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a symposium at which my colleague was a co-chair. She and a new acquaintance asked me how it was going. I joked that the discussant's only job at this conference was to be an asshole. The acquaintance was the symposium's discussant. The topic was Rude Behavior at Work. FML

#830404
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7119) - you deserved it (53453)

On 04/06/2009 at 2:14am - work - by singingseattlite (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (177741) - you deserved it (11910)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

#711978
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101509) - you deserved it (5280)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)



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