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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (1967)
On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21977) - you deserved it (1930)
On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28779) - you deserved it (4954)
On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26872) - you deserved it (1617)
On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43593) - you deserved it (2645)
On 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by excusemeprincess (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19426) - you deserved it (8656)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States
Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20678) - you deserved it (1420)
On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27814) - you deserved it (2207)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24986) - you deserved it (2963)
On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41942) - you deserved it (5033)
On 02/09/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31514) - you deserved it (3126)
On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (7446)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14419) - you deserved it (33691)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23710) - you deserved it (1586)
On 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (2169)
On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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