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nothing92x

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nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 4454
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

#3493845
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49070) - you deserved it (6211)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by bridezilla (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left rib cage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML

#3400206
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59133) - you deserved it (6594)

On 07/01/2009 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

#3389802
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9039) - you deserved it (69482)

On 07/01/2009 at 6:31am - intimacy - by paprikarulz (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML

#3382382
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60369) - you deserved it (2378)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by lawoman27 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I'd had a quarter in my pocket. I find no change in my pocket once I get to the register, so I pull out my credit card. The cashier laughs a few seconds later. My card was declined for a piece of gum. FML

#3327464
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33681) - you deserved it (14024)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by DeniedAgain (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

#3313899
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (12009)

On 06/28/2009 at 5:30pm - animals - by Teylot (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

#3267231
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39747) - you deserved it (17048)

On 06/27/2009 at 3:03am - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML

#3260741
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8240) - you deserved it (47067)

On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML

#3256249
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11382) - you deserved it (165898)

On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68333) - you deserved it (40027)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68333) - you deserved it (40027)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

#3215431
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73334) - you deserved it (6322)

On 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Tom (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML

#3165947
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26717) - you deserved it (60185)

On 06/24/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by jerk (man) - United States (California)

Today, my car was impounded because I never registered it in California after moving here. In order to get it back, I need to register it. In order to register it, I need to pass a CA smog check. In order to pass the smog check, I need my car. FML

#3153262
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51765) - you deserved it (12845)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by nicklesg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my house to find several of my friends there for a surprise sweet sixteen party my mom was throwing for me. Everything was going great until the doorbell rang and a clown walked in. My mom hired a clown for my sweet sixteen. My friends took pictures. FML

#3120463
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43153) - you deserved it (5228)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by sweetsixteen (woman) - United States



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