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nothing92x's favorite FMLs
by sadface / 01/04/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
by Lisa / 01/02/2010 at 2:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by FavreFan99 / 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Davios / 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2009 at 2:09am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML
by ash203 / 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML
by ps3isbetterthanme / 12/11/2009 at 11:44am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy
by aawkward... / 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
by Anonymous / 12/09/2009 at 8:27am / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was fired because I skipped a week of work without calling nor telling anyone. His secretary forgot to tell him about my scheduled days off for anticipation for my daughter's birth. My boss had already hired someone else so he gave me his secretary's job. Wrong time for a pay decrease. FML
by solarecliptic / 12/08/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Virginia) / Money
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
by Ballhugger / 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML
by Anon / 12/05/2009 at 9:19am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Intimacy
Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML
by Anonymous / 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…