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nothing92x

Offline (the 11/16/2014 at 8:15pm) | Search for a member

nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 4436
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63287) - you deserved it (5121)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

#4215163
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59395) - you deserved it (3554)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

#4133351
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61177) - you deserved it (6528)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

#3905141
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10864) - you deserved it (63811)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by hoho5191 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML

#3886225
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42216) - you deserved it (6311)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by Tasty (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML

#3878606
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34038) - you deserved it (26841)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:14am - animals - by Isabelle18 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my son's new friend spent the night, I commented on how his hair had such a straight line in it from one ear to the other. I joked about how he must have fallen asleep with headphones on, or had bad hat hair. He informed me it was a scar from brain surgery he had when he was younger. FML

#3853046
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13322) - you deserved it (54120)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:26am - misc - by insertfoothere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

#3800582
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21722) - you deserved it (93478)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, it dawned on me that I've been married for 6 months, but because of the Army I've spent only around 12 days total with my wife. FML

#3785387
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72438) - you deserved it (12148)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:04pm - misc - by broooooock (man) - United States

Today, I was walking to my mailbox and I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9am" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I am still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML

#3715580
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48750) - you deserved it (2595)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:21pm - animals - by notwasted39 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to see a movie. He said he was busy that day, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me is making out and kicking my seat. I turn around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML

#3601601
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49629) - you deserved it (2850)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by frankfukhergood - Canada

Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML

#3574119
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68537) - you deserved it (3960)

On 07/08/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got a call from my parents that they have decided to get a divorce. My brothers and I just shelled out $5,000 each and spent months planning their 50th Anniversary party that was supposed to be next month. FML

#3507672
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51023) - you deserved it (2700)

On 07/05/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by Annabelle (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML

#3500030
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48197) - you deserved it (7951)

On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

#3493845
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49071) - you deserved it (6211)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by bridezilla (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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