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nothing92x's favorite FMLs
by Kay / 02/23/2010 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
by mrniceguy / 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm / United States / Love
by kal / 02/23/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love
Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
by loveless / 02/18/2010 at 12:07am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by shininghayley / 02/15/2010 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML
by tammyg / 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by jake / 02/07/2010 at 1:56pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Vastu / 02/07/2010 at 12:42pm / Nepal / Money
Today, my girlfriend of six months dumped me over the phone. I'm in the military and recently had to move away to another fort. We'd agreed that we would try to make long distance work. I'd even offered to buy a plane ticket to come see her each weekend. I've been gone less than two weeks. FML
by Crud / 02/06/2010 at 12:09am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I decided to change my boyfriend's background on his phone. As I was in the process of changing it, I noticed his most recent picture is of a naked girl. The naked girl happens to be my 18 year old sister. FML
Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML
by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by wolfpacking / 02/02/2010 at 12:51am / Transportation
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…