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nothing92x

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nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 4690
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

#5332273
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37809) - you deserved it (5023)

On 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm - health - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was arguing with one of my professors. She said that all married couples fight and I told her that my parents have never argued or fought about anything. When I got home my parents told me that they're getting a divorce. FML

#5288032
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39324) - you deserved it (11715)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:38am - misc - by omgstfuplz (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML

#5286391
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35628) - you deserved it (3946)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (4222)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50076) - you deserved it (7240)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

#5086359
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10985) - you deserved it (41868)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

#5068921
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16855) - you deserved it (46111)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML

#5041088
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12649) - you deserved it (47667)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by akward (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

#4975580
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12257) - you deserved it (42194)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (4854)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after two years of dating, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend on my birthday. It wasn't as all like I dreamed about; I dreamt that I wasn't allergic to latex. FML

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

#4896361
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42332) - you deserved it (9338)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:27am - love - by notenough (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML

#4876384
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39985) - you deserved it (4011)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by kitchencrime (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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