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nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 3630
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49908) - you deserved it (7229)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

#5086359
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10923) - you deserved it (41766)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

#5068921
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16785) - you deserved it (45981)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML

#5041088
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12075) - you deserved it (46672)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by akward (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

#4975580
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12193) - you deserved it (42101)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33214) - you deserved it (4744)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after two years of dating, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend on my birthday. It wasn't as all like I dreamed about; I dreamt that I wasn't allergic to latex. FML

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

#4896361
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41542) - you deserved it (9201)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:27am - love - by notenough (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend and I went boating. In the middle of the lake, we decided to jump in. We put our valuables in the boat and jumped in. When I tried to get back in the boat, it flipped over, and our cellphones, along with my car keys, are at the bottom of the lake. FML

#4854572
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13542) - you deserved it (51274)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by p-man - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

#4803927
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14025) - you deserved it (58059)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was texting pictures from my old phone to my new one, including several dirty ones, when I noticed I wasn't receiving any of them on the new phone. I was texting the wrong number. FML

#4792669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10675) - you deserved it (54146)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9405) - you deserved it (91667)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML

#4661982
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60170) - you deserved it (4161)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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