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nothing92x

Offline (the 11/16/2014 at 8:15pm) | Search for a member

nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 4402
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64514) - you deserved it (4719)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46915) - you deserved it (4592)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

#5497361
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35495) - you deserved it (3483)

On 09/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

#5465384
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35218) - you deserved it (6275)

On 09/25/2009 at 12:11pm - work - by UnemployedGrad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was searching for a travel bag. I looked in my parents room for one. I found one alright, with all there sex toys in it. FML

#5464453
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17746) - you deserved it (5392)

On 09/25/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by R-R-R-Ray (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I played with a boomerang my first time. I didn't believe that when you threw it, it comes right back to you. It flew back all right. And broke my nose. FML

#5450785
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10602) - you deserved it (40374)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by BOOMerang (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60723) - you deserved it (2469)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37277) - you deserved it (2190)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent me a birthday present. It was a necklace for me to wear at my wedding. The pendant is a well known lesbian symbol. I'm a woman and I'm marrying her son. FML

#5392687
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (2659)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by whasian (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

#5332273
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37786) - you deserved it (5022)

On 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm - health - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was arguing with one of my professors. She said that all married couples fight and I told her that my parents have never argued or fought about anything. When I got home my parents told me that they're getting a divorce. FML

#5288032
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39304) - you deserved it (11705)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:38am - misc - by omgstfuplz (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML

#5286391
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35604) - you deserved it (3942)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20830) - you deserved it (4220)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50032) - you deserved it (7239)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom



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