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nothing92x

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nothing92x

2Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 6709
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48423) - you deserved it (15104)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (3241)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38562) - you deserved it (2703)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42292) - you deserved it (2963)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40512) - you deserved it (3848)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

#12277666
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55579) - you deserved it (4205)

On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought my girlfriend an expensive chihuahua puppy because she was never allowed to have one as a kid. She was so excited and happy so she leaned in to give it a kiss. It bit her in the face, she had to get stitches, and they put the $500 dog to sleep. FML

#12192420
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37420) - you deserved it (7278)

On 07/29/2010 at 7:13pm - money - by Joseph (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

#11989675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61148) - you deserved it (3782)

On 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States

Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML

#11977645
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34081) - you deserved it (5079)

On 07/19/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Bellagirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

#11923492
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33408) - you deserved it (5922)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:38pm - misc - by apple (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19873) - you deserved it (45148)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

#11548771
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (26149)

On 06/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by Tp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML

#11271577
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32954) - you deserved it (14762)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

#11117532
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52718) - you deserved it (21306)

On 06/11/2010 at 12:56am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a car with my house-mate and friends after a long day of studying, when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there, I waited for everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML

#11099858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (3385)

On 06/10/2010 at 8:54am - misc - by Unwanted (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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