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nothing92x

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nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 4018
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

#6352873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12531) - you deserved it (64888)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by omgitserika - United States (California)

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

#6312781
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10956) - you deserved it (19964)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

#6310101
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20465) - you deserved it (10994)

On 11/15/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by shiiiiit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

#6281731
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30983) - you deserved it (8463)

On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

#6248749
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6248) - you deserved it (53448)

On 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by prayforme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML

#6245965
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29827) - you deserved it (3523)

On 11/10/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

#6243414
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (2250)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

#6221644
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (2785)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73892) - you deserved it (5826)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, at work I wrote up my boyfriend (whom I've been secretly dating, because I'm his supervisor) for being $40 short on his register. Our policy is to write up anyone short over $10. He got mad and told my boss we're dating, and I was instantly fired. Then I got dumped for being a "tattle-tale". FML

#6175631
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (16393)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:43pm - work - by supervisor (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer complimented me on how good I looked for my age. She thought I was in my forties. I'm 18. FML

#6175316
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32476) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML

#6153235
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43722) - you deserved it (7400)

On 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had an appointment with a psychotherapist. I was feeling very depressed and was telling her how I felt no one cared about me. Her phone rang and she left me mid-sentence to take a call about her new BMW. FML

#6145491
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29719) - you deserved it (3234)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:10am - health - by troubled (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11903) - you deserved it (44974)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11903) - you deserved it (44974)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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