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Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6167) - you deserved it (19089)
On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8896) - you deserved it (11235)
On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (4444)
On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States
Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4527) - you deserved it (32507)
On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14356) - you deserved it (2569)
On 12/11/2009 at 11:44am - intimacy - by ps3isbetterthanme (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14916) - you deserved it (1599)
On 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by aawkward... (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36973) - you deserved it (18270)
On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16865) - you deserved it (2356)
On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was fired because I skipped a week of work without calling nor telling anyone. His secretary forgot to tell him about my scheduled days off for anticipation for my daughter's birth. My boss had already hired someone else so he gave me his secretary's job. Wrong time for a pay decrease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28491) - you deserved it (1840)
On 12/08/2009 at 10:30am - money - by solarecliptic (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (8223)
On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7137) - you deserved it (8799)
On 12/05/2009 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anon - United Kingdom (Leicester)
Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (3491)
On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in a sexy outfit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (3873)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36806) - you deserved it (4628)
On 11/23/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by OnlyIfYouLoveMe (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27427) - you deserved it (1761)
On 11/23/2009 at 12:09am - love - by apparentlyhesbusy (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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