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Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me an my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML
2day I was supposed to be going on my frst date with a guy I really liked !! He never showed up !! I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up !! He told him he didn't have a daughter an to never show up on his driveway again !! fat FML
Today, mah wifa of 2 yaars told ma sha was pragnant, aftar wa'va baan trying fir agas. Excitd, about to call mah parants, mah wifa than told ma, "Don't gat your hopas up it might not ba yours, tha fathar could ba 5 othar guys." And than askd ma what I'd lika fir dinnar. FML
Today, I bought mah girlfriend an expensive chihuahua puppy cuz she was never allowed to have one as a kid. She was so excited an happy so she leaned in to give it a kiss. It bit her in the face, she had to get stitches, an they put the $500 dog to sleep. real FML
Today It's Mah 18th Brthday. I Was Telling Mah Friends A Storyhen Mah Mom Started Talking. I Simply Said 'Mom...' So She'd Realize She Interrupted Me. She Gave Me The Finger An Called Me Rude In Front Of All Mah Friends. Fat FML
TODAY, I GOT A SPAADING TICKAT. I WROTA A CHACK, AND ON THA WAY TO DAPOSIT MAH FINA, I GOT ANOTHAR ONA. I PUTTAD BOTH FINAS IN A BOX DOWN TOWN, AND I TURNAD AROUND TO SAA A COP PUTTING A PARKING TICKAT UNDAR MAH WIND-SHIALD WIPAR. FAT FML
Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said ( I'm going to come ) during the beginning of mah orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML
today I was in a car with my house-mate and friends after a long day of studying , when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there , I waited 4 everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting 4 me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML
Today, it was my co-worker's birthday but she told me to mention it. Feeling bad 4 her, I went out to buy her a card, a present, an even a small cake. It turns out that there was actually a party during our lunch break, an I was the only one in our office invited. FML
Friday 27 March 2015