This member hasn't filled in the description.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I found on the internet pictures of me sleeping. I sleep naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24267) - you deserved it (5705)
On 01/16/2010 at 12:51pm - misc - by be_so_slick_56 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6209) - you deserved it (21478)
On 01/14/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Lackadaisical (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5434) - you deserved it (43635)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure if I am more impressed that I still somehow aimed the puke into the sink, or that swallowing afterwards hurt more than emptying my stomach via my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19241) - you deserved it (1320)
On 01/12/2010 at 2:18am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (1957)
On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States
Today, I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good. I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me. Then he added, "What's funny is it looks nothing like you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16162) - you deserved it (2798)
On 01/08/2010 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5923) - you deserved it (18225)
On 01/07/2010 at 9:43am - misc - by Doomy (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a promo code for a free Redbox movie. Since I knew exactly which movie I wanted, I parked in a handicapped space because it was super close and I was cold. I didn't think anyone would notice, but apparently the cop that parked beside my car did. My free movie cost me $100. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3534) - you deserved it (50948)
On 01/05/2010 at 12:28pm - money - by handi-crap (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13642) - you deserved it (2736)
On 01/04/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by sore - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6153) - you deserved it (18973)
On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8863) - you deserved it (11175)
On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26217) - you deserved it (3796)
On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States
Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4515) - you deserved it (32431)
On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14299) - you deserved it (2567)
On 12/11/2009 at 11:44am - intimacy - by ps3isbetterthanme (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14853) - you deserved it (1598)
On 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by aawkward... (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
