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nothing92x

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nothing92x
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2538
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

#13223944
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25603) - you deserved it (2424)

On 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm - work - by FoxyManicLiar - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (3223)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML

#13145609
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27854) - you deserved it (4534)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML

#13019644
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (9039)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

#12858268
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23358) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45713) - you deserved it (3147)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML

#12849732
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33750) - you deserved it (3617)

On 09/01/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Jill Shanks - United States

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9471) - you deserved it (42492)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were role playing when her mum walked past the slightly open door, saw me, and chased me out of the house for stealing her baby's innocence. I was only wearing a red speedo. FML

#12775979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11203) - you deserved it (31667)

On 08/27/2010 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by yeah - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

#12712941
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12579) - you deserved it (43685)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:21am - love - by perfectlybrokenx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44025) - you deserved it (14244)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (2995)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33162) - you deserved it (2314)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37904) - you deserved it (2645)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)



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