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nothing92x

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nothing92x
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2517
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11049) - you deserved it (48251)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

#13823119
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (12238)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML

#13815438
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6189) - you deserved it (36670)

On 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking medicine for my sinus problems and trying to write an essay. I got most of the way done, then unexpectedly fell asleep on my keyboard. When I woke up, my face was wet. I drowned my laptop in my drool. FML

#13777166
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16010) - you deserved it (4464)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:17pm - work - by drooooooool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of two years dumped me, because I'd changed too much for her to bear, and I was breaking her heart. How did I change? I got braces. FML

#13713440
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/04/2010 at 11:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a maths test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

#13673921
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27647) - you deserved it (3014)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:10am - intimacy - by crazy_mom (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a maths test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

#13673921
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27647) - you deserved it (3014)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:10am - intimacy - by crazy_mom (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

#13587554
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27827) - you deserved it (5735)

On 10/25/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

#13571431
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9909) - you deserved it (40922)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

#13490049
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44704) - you deserved it (3479)

On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30995) - you deserved it (6175)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that I will be willing to have sex with him in public. FML

#13454741
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25626) - you deserved it (4027)

On 10/15/2010 at 1:13am - intimacy - by anouk05 (woman) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20173) - you deserved it (8043)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML

#13382231
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25841) - you deserved it (7712)

On 10/09/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Antigua and Barbuda (Saint John)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

#13293908
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (2719)

On 10/02/2010 at 8:12pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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