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nothing92x

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nothing92x

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 5867
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44187) - you deserved it (3006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

#14605764
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56337) - you deserved it (4421)

On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22276) - you deserved it (9876)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

#14460417
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44670) - you deserved it (5374)

On 01/04/2011 at 5:56am - intimacy - by LoveMyNewBro -

Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML

#14442840
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35210) - you deserved it (5851)

On 01/02/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

#14371571
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (4515)

On 12/28/2010 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by whoawhoawhoa (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40178) - you deserved it (6079)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

#14261370
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24879) - you deserved it (6432)

On 12/19/2010 at 3:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

#14246751
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51409) - you deserved it (4385)

On 12/18/2010 at 11:13am - love - by timor (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my fiancé is going to be deployed on our wedding day. FML

#14161971
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57388) - you deserved it (3906)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:56am - love - by unwed - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48238) - you deserved it (5614)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

#14074806
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37087) - you deserved it (5169)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

#14070837
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48411) - you deserved it (10578)

On 12/03/2010 at 11:19am - intimacy - by flopsy - Australia

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

#14003911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31849) - you deserved it (4212)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (13925)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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