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nothing92x

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nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 5884
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54293) - you deserved it (5172)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML

#15240526
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17966) - you deserved it (32212)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

#15239468
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40502) - you deserved it (3035)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:21am - money - by MommyLovesMe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML

#15174885
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51453) - you deserved it (4747)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by FFFFF- (man) - Singapore

Today, my shoulder was pulled out of its socket when I was helping a customer load a desk into his vehicle and he decided to answer his cell phone. FML

#15147036
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (2235)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:43am - work - by jack -

Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML

#14950396
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31988) - you deserved it (4504)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:57pm - misc - by sadcartoons (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML

#14882919
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41936) - you deserved it (4175)

On 02/07/2011 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by anonomous - United States (Florida)

Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML

#14882919
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41936) - you deserved it (4175)

On 02/07/2011 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by anonomous - United States (Florida)

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11015) - you deserved it (38658)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

#14843192
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (7154)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by omnomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

#14843192
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (7154)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by omnomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49922) - you deserved it (8355)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

#14770555
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9377) - you deserved it (54689)

On 01/30/2011 at 4:24am - misc - by terrible kenny - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

#14677100
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36699) - you deserved it (13438)

On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

#14671725
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52302) - you deserved it (4795)

On 01/22/2011 at 8:00am - intimacy - by fmlalways - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)



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