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Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30215) - you deserved it (2905)
On 09/01/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Jill Shanks - United States
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7791) - you deserved it (32112)
On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend and I were role playing when her mum walked past the slightly open door, saw me, and chased me out of the house for stealing her baby's innocence. I was only wearing a red speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9594) - you deserved it (23724)
On 08/27/2010 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by yeah - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10627) - you deserved it (33815)
On 08/24/2010 at 12:21am - love - by perfectlybrokenx - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38262) - you deserved it (10978)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (2383)
On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29970) - you deserved it (1829)
On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34018) - you deserved it (2403)
On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32233) - you deserved it (2772)
On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45396) - you deserved it (3025)
On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I bought my girlfriend an expensive chihuahua puppy because she was never allowed to have one as a kid. She was so excited and happy so she leaned in to give it a kiss. It bit her in the face, she had to get stitches, and they put the $500 dog to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29116) - you deserved it (5350)
On 07/29/2010 at 7:13pm - money - by Joseph (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51647) - you deserved it (2705)
On 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States
Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26627) - you deserved it (3718)
On 07/19/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Bellagirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (4448)
On 07/16/2010 at 3:38pm - misc - by apple (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16034) - you deserved it (32109)
On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Monday 20 May 2013
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