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Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23225) - you deserved it (4498)
On 10/25/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9692) - you deserved it (40090)
On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39276) - you deserved it (2744)
On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26309) - you deserved it (4936)
On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that I will be willing to have sex with him in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21095) - you deserved it (3170)
On 10/15/2010 at 1:13am - intimacy - by anouk05 (woman) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16669) - you deserved it (6391)
On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (5818)
On 10/09/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Antigua and Barbuda (Saint John)
Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23931) - you deserved it (2153)
On 10/02/2010 at 8:12pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23842) - you deserved it (2006)
On 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm - work - by FoxyManicLiar - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29612) - you deserved it (3188)
On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)
Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27126) - you deserved it (4471)
On 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28510) - you deserved it (33924)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19024) - you deserved it (7421)
On 09/12/2010 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (2942)
On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44932) - you deserved it (3124)
On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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