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Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12039) - you deserved it (44956)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22711) - you deserved it (3101)
On 04/01/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by colorguard13 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (44589)
On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States
Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30512) - you deserved it (2134)
On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38384) - you deserved it (5711)
On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you deserved it (5092)
On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)
Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22743) - you deserved it (3472)
On 02/17/2013 at 5:20am - misc - by bananamontana85 - United Kingdom (Wigan)
Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (3120)
On 02/17/2013 at 3:02am - kids - by Lesser (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (1385)
On 02/17/2013 at 2:38am - misc - by left-out - United States
Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27937) - you deserved it (2528)
On 02/16/2013 at 3:47am - health - by Chuffberry - United States (Colorado)
Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (1874)
On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12918) - you deserved it (37736)
On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (2102)
On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (6238)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33472) - you deserved it (2205)
On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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