Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nothing92x

Search for a member

nothing92x
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2562
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nothing92x's last visitors

MacItUpdeathpostsCamBenRuler3000IrishGirl12KazuTrumpet1512Clumsyblonde22jedidesaudenneeni88Garrett184

nothing92x's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of nothing92x's badges

nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17535) - you deserved it (40988)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

#15786221
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8387) - you deserved it (32645)

On 04/14/2011 at 6:27pm - health - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML

#15784474
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50665) - you deserved it (3160)

On 04/14/2011 at 2:28pm - love - by Pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML

#15780453
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (5689)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38532) - you deserved it (5133)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML

#15772637
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7237) - you deserved it (56373)

On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16027) - you deserved it (34304)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

#15749672
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50728) - you deserved it (12938)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML

#15749336
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28532) - you deserved it (9184)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:08am - love - by husks -

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
782 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61249) - you deserved it (12509)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

#15748072
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (2252)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

#15741479
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42518) - you deserved it (6197)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

#15740141
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54170) - you deserved it (4055)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Carmen - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18314) - you deserved it (63193)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

#15733743
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36919) - you deserved it (8342)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by blower - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: