Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nothing92x

Offline (the 02/18/2015 at 8:39pm) | Search for a member

nothing92x

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5332
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nothing92x's page activity

Visits<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:19am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:02am<b>james98e</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:44am<b>sophzxc</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:25am<b>LPRZ17</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:39pm<b>KJxFTW</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:30am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:45am<b>MacItUp</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 3:55pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 2:58am<b>CamBen</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:04am<b>Ruler3000</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:51pm<b>IrishGirl12</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 9:22am<b>ghiman</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 6:58am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 11:59pm<b>Clumsyblonde22</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 9:32pm<b>Anner22</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 7:31pm<b>jedidesauden</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 1:20pm

nothing92x's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of nothing92x's badges

nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83344) - you deserved it (6244)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (4228)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42098) - you deserved it (5768)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (16573)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (16573)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

#15851636
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33113) - you deserved it (7782)

On 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML

#15846641
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26818) - you deserved it (21085)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by killercow - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46430) - you deserved it (5699)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

#15842272
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28894) - you deserved it (3820)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:30am - health - by norestforthewicked -

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
736 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49728) - you deserved it (7081)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46444) - you deserved it (18076)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

#15805096
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40422) - you deserved it (11395) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39186) - you deserved it (6369)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made a video for a school tour of my apartment in German. The walls in my apartment are thin, so you could hear my sister having phone sex in her room in the background. FML

#15804053
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34075) - you deserved it (5190)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Xanadu (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the only person to wish me a "Happy birthday" was the cop who pulled me over, as he handed me my ticket. FML

#15803681
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35551) - you deserved it (4526)

On 04/16/2011 at 2:11am - misc - by uncool (woman) - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: