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nothing92x's favorite FMLs
Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML
by BigMoney / 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
by Gurior / 09/04/2011 at 3:01am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by dragos_dgt / 09/02/2011 at 3:48am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 10:12am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids
by shocked / 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had my first day of soccer tryouts. We began with a two mile run. Trying to be honest for once, I didn't lie about my time. Everyone else did. I thus got the worst score, and had to run it again. FML
by varsity soccer player / 08/19/2011 at 5:08pm / United States (New York) / Geek
by bursteardrums / 08/16/2011 at 11:00am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous
by LuckySperm / 08/12/2011 at 9:14am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Kids
by James / 08/12/2011 at 3:54am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:53am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Intimacy
by iliketoastalot / 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML
by the2girls / 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by aliixmaee / 08/09/2011 at 10:50am / United States / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…