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nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 3773
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40521) - you deserved it (5586)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32870) - you deserved it (16518)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32870) - you deserved it (16518)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

#15851636
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (7659)

On 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML

#15846641
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25757) - you deserved it (20487)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by killercow - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46250) - you deserved it (5688)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

#15842272
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28735) - you deserved it (3802)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:30am - health - by norestforthewicked -

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
733 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48825) - you deserved it (6991)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44932) - you deserved it (17708)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

#15805096
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40229) - you deserved it (11364) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39005) - you deserved it (6351)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made a video for a school tour of my apartment in German. The walls in my apartment are thin, so you could hear my sister having phone sex in her room in the background. FML

#15804053
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33890) - you deserved it (5175)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Xanadu (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the only person to wish me a "Happy birthday" was the cop who pulled me over, as he handed me my ticket. FML

#15803681
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34306) - you deserved it (4394)

On 04/16/2011 at 2:11am - misc - by uncool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

#15803109
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10886) - you deserved it (76743)

On 04/16/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML

#15793085
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59857) - you deserved it (4314)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:38am - love - by ZaraAce (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)



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