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nothing92x's favorite FMLs
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
by possiblyoverweight / 11/08/2011 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids
by Courtney / 11/07/2011 at 1:49am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Cat / 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by XxFA1LxX / 11/06/2011 at 1:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
by Grounded / 11/03/2011 at 5:18am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
by wtf / 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm / Reserved / Intimacy
by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 11:36am / Sri Lanka / Miscellaneous
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML
by Lyingg / 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work
by confused / 09/28/2011 at 12:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by ouch / 09/16/2011 at 1:21am / United States / Health
by Scott / 09/15/2011 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Health
Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML
by charliemann_ / 09/12/2011 at 10:28am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…