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nothing92x

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nothing92x
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  • Number of visits : 2597
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, my landlord informed me that after 8 months, we are finally getting cable and internet in our house. I move out tomorrow. FML

#15948850
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29376) - you deserved it (3307)

On 04/27/2011 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML

#15948612
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (4841)

On 04/27/2011 at 1:07pm - love - by Sammy - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63716) - you deserved it (7212)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (15936)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

#15945693
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (3904)

On 04/27/2011 at 4:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML

#15940298
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44884) - you deserved it (7759)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm - money - by Chad - United States

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (11793)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend told me that her favourite aunt died last night of a heart attack. The first thing I could think of to say was, "Oh no, is she okay?" FML

#15935216
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13944) - you deserved it (33766)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18853) - you deserved it (43304)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41012) - you deserved it (6673)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I have a new boss. She claims to be a professional Angry Birds player. FML

#15884668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28693) - you deserved it (4700)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:42am - work - by Username -

Today, my boyfriend finally found a roommate after hopelessly looking for months. I was really anxious to meet the guy because I would most likely be spending a good amount of time with him. Who did my boyfriend end up picking as his new roommate? My ex-boyfriend. FML

#15884642
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37747) - you deserved it (3912)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:40am - misc - by doubletrouble (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73160) - you deserved it (5505)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28425) - you deserved it (4101)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36627) - you deserved it (5185)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)



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