This member hasn't filled in the description.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14164) - you deserved it (27342)
On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -
Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45842) - you deserved it (10352)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27994) - you deserved it (9130)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:08am - love - by husks -
Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57597) - you deserved it (10127)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (2225)
On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37482) - you deserved it (5064)
On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53234) - you deserved it (4005)
On 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Carmen - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16608) - you deserved it (52102)
On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33615) - you deserved it (8015)
On 04/11/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by blower - United States (Colorado)
Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said "see you in Kansas". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20008) - you deserved it (894)
On 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by anonymous -
Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (2942)
On 04/09/2011 at 1:32am - animals - by blehhx - United States
Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29477) - you deserved it (4479)
On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -
Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28157) - you deserved it (10020)
On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (34539)
On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16132) - you deserved it (41068)
On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
