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nothing92x

Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 2:22am) | Search for a member

nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 4721
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38898) - you deserved it (10024)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

#17912138
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8399) - you deserved it (33222)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Lyingg (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26695) - you deserved it (7982)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister told me that she read that the pain of giving birth is equal to the pain of breaking 20 bones at once. I'm 19 weeks pregnant. FML

#17755798
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24017) - you deserved it (5165)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:21am - health - by ouch - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32705) - you deserved it (5832)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

#17727242
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27288) - you deserved it (2413)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40190) - you deserved it (11827)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

#17659023
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12567) - you deserved it (43771)

On 09/04/2011 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Gurior (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8674) - you deserved it (28510)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive, but I still can't ask out the hot girl working at the pub. FML

#17620224
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22926) - you deserved it (7770)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
679 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30256) - you deserved it (49245)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

#17577684
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (4556)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by shocked (man) - United States

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31179) - you deserved it (5793)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I had my first day of soccer tryouts. We began with a two mile run. Trying to be honest for once, I didn't lie about my time. Everyone else did. I thus got the worst score, and had to run it again. FML

#17521281
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (4057)

On 08/19/2011 at 5:08pm - misc - by varsity soccer player - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25111) - you deserved it (9992)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)



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