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nothing92x

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nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 4030
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
678 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (49178)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

#17577684
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29313) - you deserved it (4553)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by shocked (man) - United States

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30196) - you deserved it (5658)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I had my first day of soccer tryouts. We began with a two mile run. Trying to be honest for once, I didn't lie about my time. Everyone else did. I thus got the worst score, and had to run it again. FML

#17521281
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (4017)

On 08/19/2011 at 5:08pm - misc - by varsity soccer player - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (9980)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

#17448755
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (2678)

On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

#17447904
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36142) - you deserved it (2654)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:54am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11708) - you deserved it (51193)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

#17418352
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34874) - you deserved it (5349)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by iliketoastalot - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

#17417744
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49320) - you deserved it (4614)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by the2girls - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

#17417239
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57583) - you deserved it (5763)

On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20112) - you deserved it (2446)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML

#17398977
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26067) - you deserved it (14724)

On 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

#17388781
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23210) - you deserved it (3336)

On 08/06/2011 at 4:39pm - kids - by Tabby (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

#17385440
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21627) - you deserved it (2663)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:28am - health - by LH0026 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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