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nothing92x

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nothing92x

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  • Number of visits : 4021
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nothing92x's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

#20896486
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33993) - you deserved it (4675)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42097) - you deserved it (3335)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

#20887524
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51039) - you deserved it (4959)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by monkey (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67030) - you deserved it (7907)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58630) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58604) - you deserved it (22869)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63076) - you deserved it (5067)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

#20694663
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42715) - you deserved it (3774)

On 05/30/2013 at 1:37am - love - by I'm a joke? -

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45926) - you deserved it (4032)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58823) - you deserved it (3984)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

#20687932
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52609) - you deserved it (3588)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

#20687700
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42320) - you deserved it (16676)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

#20687417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36897) - you deserved it (3890)

On 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm - health - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45841) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49915) - you deserved it (7004)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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