notgivingafuck

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notgivingafuck

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 274
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About notgivingafuck : Kik: MorganStell. Currently engaged to my extremely sweet and amazing boyfriend of almost 2yrs

notgivingafuck's page activity

Visits<b>Nilla_Please</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 9:05pm

notgivingafuck's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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notgivingafuck's favorite FMLs

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

by Gribby / 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

by Mr_poole / 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML

by foreveravirgin / 08/15/2012 at 3:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, while lying in bed with my fiancé, we were talking about how we'd rather die, if given a choice. I said, "I want to die in my sleep next to you." His response? "It'd be sexier if you were on top of me with your face between my legs." Cute, honey. FML

by legwarmer / 12/31/2010 at 2:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

by verno02 / 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

by whitechocolate / 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML

by Jake / 07/01/2009 at 8:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous