notfromearth7

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notfromearth7

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10252
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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notfromearth7's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:10pm<b>rbalboa76</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 5:45pm<b>niqsters</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 11:25pm<b>tu_zindagi_hai</b> - the 03/28/2009 at 1:16pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:28pm

notfromearth7's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

notfromearth7's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

by thisblows / 04/11/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

by hedgehog5 / 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

by NotRetarded / 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML

by sheryl_m / 04/09/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML

by luh8r / 04/09/2009 at 10:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

by anonymous / 04/09/2009 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was going running. It was an especially windy day and things were flying through the wind. Apparently, bodily fluid can also fly through the wind. Turns out, a women was barfing over a bridge and the wind caught it and it flew through the air. Right into my face and body. FML

by fedlife / 04/09/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

by intranator / 04/08/2009 at 5:43pm / Jordan (Amman Governorate) / Love

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

by nothing / 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

by UGH / 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 12:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

by ugly / 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

by ugly / 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids