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notfromearth7

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notfromearth7
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8313
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

#916470
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15437) - you deserved it (80039)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (153151) - you deserved it (7477)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50231) - you deserved it (3104)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

#900061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8521) - you deserved it (48212)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML

#884273
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59953) - you deserved it (3877)

On 04/09/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by sheryl_m (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML

#883933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46532) - you deserved it (4057)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by luh8r (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36481) - you deserved it (124612)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

#880464
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40127) - you deserved it (33934)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going running. It was an especially windy day and things were flying through the wind. Apparently, bodily fluid can also fly through the wind. Turns out, a women was barfing over a bridge and the wind caught it and it flew through the air. Right into my face and body. FML

#879830
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73080) - you deserved it (2923)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by fedlife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

#874593
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (760) - you deserved it (5118)

On 04/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by intranator (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (57644)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

#873540
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13673) - you deserved it (71391)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

#864226
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60034) - you deserved it (5422)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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