This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13165) - you deserved it (66178)
On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58295) - you deserved it (3656)
On 04/11/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by thisblows (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (128930) - you deserved it (5325)
On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46539) - you deserved it (2807)
On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7985) - you deserved it (40814)
On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55611) - you deserved it (3530)
On 04/09/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by sheryl_m (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42103) - you deserved it (3290)
On 04/09/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by luh8r (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31117) - you deserved it (100269)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37108) - you deserved it (27919)
On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was going running. It was an especially windy day and things were flying through the wind. Apparently, bodily fluid can also fly through the wind. Turns out, a women was barfing over a bridge and the wind caught it and it flew through the air. Right into my face and body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68726) - you deserved it (2364)
On 04/09/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by fedlife (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (208) - you deserved it (4795)
On 04/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by intranator (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21166) - you deserved it (48367)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12161) - you deserved it (59417)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55444) - you deserved it (5021)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58323) - you deserved it (13100)
On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
