notfromearth7

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notfromearth7

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10888
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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notfromearth7's page activity

Visits<b>SpaceToast</b> - 24 hours ago<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:10pm<b>rbalboa76</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 5:45pm<b>niqsters</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 11:25pm<b>tu_zindagi_hai</b> - the 03/28/2009 at 1:16pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:28pm

notfromearth7's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

notfromearth7's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 2:39am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML

by 8reth72 / 06/11/2009 at 10:17am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

by sluttydancer / 06/10/2009 at 9:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I busted my ass to help this old lady move her stuff because she was going to a nursing home. I was told I would get paid. When I finished four hours later the lady took me to a room and told me to pick out anything in her little goody bag. I got a race car as payment. FML

by person / 06/10/2009 at 7:03am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML

by Trapped / 06/10/2009 at 4:13am / Australia / Animals

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

by dodgerkiss / 06/10/2009 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

by SleepyKirsty / 06/09/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, my father's company shut down his branch, leaving him without a job. This is followed by a letter from my school's financial aid office, saying I'm not getting a penny because my family's income level is too high. FML

by dammit / 06/09/2009 at 8:16am / United States (Georgia) / Money

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

by Ryan746 / 06/09/2009 at 1:45am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I finally got my nametag. I had been using other people's names like Maria and Caie for a week, so I was happy to be called my own name. I put it on and got to work. Ten minutes later, I was called into the office. I got laid off. I got to wear my nametag for 10 minutes. FML

by nametag / 06/08/2009 at 10:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML

by Chipper / 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

by Baggabbles123 / 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy