notfromearth7

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notfromearth7

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10907
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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notfromearth7's page activity

Visits<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 12:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:10pm<b>rbalboa76</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 5:45pm<b>niqsters</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 11:25pm<b>tu_zindagi_hai</b> - the 03/28/2009 at 1:16pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:28pm

notfromearth7's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

notfromearth7's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML

by Tony / 03/09/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my name was called during an assembly because I won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML

by ladeda / 03/07/2009 at 2:01am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

by shit_upon_literally / 03/07/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

by camp / 03/03/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

by Sal / 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, whom I was madly in love with, by having a plane fly over her house spelling "Marry me Abby?". After seeing this, she locked herself in her room and cried for 4 hours exclaiming that this wasn't how she wanted to be proposed to. I had invited my entire family. FML

by groomfail / 03/01/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

by beachbum / 02/27/2009 at 1:03am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

by Stixchop / 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

by Kasizzle / 02/26/2009 at 9:13am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

by bluecollar / 02/26/2009 at 3:07am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

by sober / 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

by beerpong26 / 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

by Kourou / 11/21/2008 at 7:53am / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my driving test. I spent 30 minutes with the handbrake on. FML

by nightput / 11/17/2008 at 1:02am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Transportation