notfromearth7

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notfromearth7

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10247
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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notfromearth7's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:10pm<b>rbalboa76</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 5:45pm<b>niqsters</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 11:25pm<b>tu_zindagi_hai</b> - the 03/28/2009 at 1:16pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:28pm

notfromearth7's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

notfromearth7's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

by lizzardbreath / 03/31/2009 at 6:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

by Donzai / 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

by beat10 / 03/30/2009 at 12:13am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

by emkaycutie / 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

by engaged / 03/29/2009 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was denied acceptance to The University of Georgia. I was down all day so I decided to go to a party my friend was throwing. Thinking it would cheer me up, as soon as I arrive all I see is colleges on shirts, hats, and sweatshirts, most being UGA. It was a college acceptance party. FML

by oldskoolgrl / 03/29/2009 at 12:37am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML

by enriquegay / 03/28/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

by lice / 03/28/2009 at 9:34am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML

by Jim / 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

by rejected / 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML

by mjohnston / 03/27/2009 at 10:47am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2009 at 9:05am / Austria (Vorarlberg) / Kids