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notallscarsheal

Offline (the 08/17/2014 at 9:26pm) | Search for a member

notallscarsheal

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2646
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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notallscarsheal's page activity

Visits<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 10:24pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:44am<b>AnOriginalName</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:27am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 7:43pm<b>techweed</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 9:51am<b>TheGodDamnJoker</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 6:15pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 4:25pm

notallscarsheal's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of notallscarsheal's badges

notallscarsheal's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

#20408734
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36781) - you deserved it (22627)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38603) - you deserved it (13990)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

#20407956
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26256) - you deserved it (7775)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13047) - you deserved it (32739)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML

#20405855
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (3662)

On 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm - misc - by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56503) - you deserved it (3828)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (7998)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36311) - you deserved it (3473)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (3493)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26619) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

#20398872
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (2672)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26664) - you deserved it (3818)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35175) - you deserved it (3643)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35164) - you deserved it (14566)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35164) - you deserved it (14566)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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