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notallscarsheal

Offline (the 11/03/2014 at 6:50am) | Search for a member

notallscarsheal

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2765
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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notallscarsheal's page activity

Visits<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 10:24pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:44am<b>AnOriginalName</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:27am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 7:43pm<b>techweed</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 9:51am<b>TheGodDamnJoker</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 6:15pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 4:25pm

notallscarsheal's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of notallscarsheal's badges

notallscarsheal's favorite FMLs

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51323) - you deserved it (3863)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (3527)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10191) - you deserved it (34563)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44383) - you deserved it (3448)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22896) - you deserved it (45119) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

#20427797
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (3877)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50174) - you deserved it (4728)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15142) - you deserved it (35010)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55555) - you deserved it (9875)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40955) - you deserved it (13766)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

#20413213
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36023) - you deserved it (4171)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41794) - you deserved it (8173)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32566) - you deserved it (9115)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29580) - you deserved it (6156)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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