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notallscarsheal

Offline (the 08/17/2014 at 9:26pm) | Search for a member

notallscarsheal

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 October 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2509
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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notallscarsheal's page activity

Visits<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 10:24pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:44am<b>AnOriginalName</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:27am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 7:43pm<b>techweed</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 9:51am<b>TheGodDamnJoker</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 6:15pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 4:25pm

notallscarsheal's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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notallscarsheal's favorite FMLs

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27586) - you deserved it (3195)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

#20489080
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10828) - you deserved it (28629)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by 3some? uh, no (woman) - Dominican Republic

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49228) - you deserved it (13923)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26333) - you deserved it (2953)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29505) - you deserved it (3894)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (12325)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (48064)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32153) - you deserved it (5473)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (5130)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41075) - you deserved it (7185)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

#20452044
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (6081)

On 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by juvenile friends suck (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30668) - you deserved it (8774)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (2763)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20325) - you deserved it (11108)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12760) - you deserved it (41963)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States



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